Have you ever searched and searched for something and every time you got what you thought you were searching for it did not satisfy you the way you thought it would. I spent many years trying to fill that emptiness that I felt inside. It was like a hole in my heart an emptiness that I don't know how to explain but if you have felt it than you know what I am talking about. I thought it could be filled with stuff! I thought if I got married that would fill it. So I got married, that filled it for a while but then that "emptiness" came back, so I thought a bigger house would take care of it, got that and sure enough the "emptiness" came back, I thought when I had kids it would be filled, a new car, new things the list goes on and on. So I kept searching and nothing worked. After a while the pain became destructive and I lost control. Man, I can guarantee that Satan was smiling.
Let me tell you something, I knew of God. I asked Him into my heart as a child because I was terrified of the "H" word. However, I had no idea what it was like to have a personal relationship with Him. A man at my church that new my story invited me to a bible study that changed my life. He told me when you are ready to surrender it all to God than you will finally be set free. I had to think on that one for a while, I still wanted to control so much of what was going on. Until one day I was alone in my house and my chest started hurting so bad that I thought either I have some really bad gas or was having a heart attack. I do not know what came over me but I made a choice. I got on my knees and surrendered it all to Him. I was given a new life offer and that was my saving grace. In the arms of His mercy I found rest. Unbelievable rest!
Now don't get me wrong it was very easy to let my self doubt, guilt, shame get the better of me. But the more and more that I pressed into God during those moments they were defeated. And after a while the most amazing thing happened, that "emptiness" was gone. It was filled with something that I am not sure how to put into words. Love, Joy, Peace! Peace, like I have never felt before in my life, and the joy, how do I explain the joy. God gave me hope. Hope that I can share my story with people who feel beaten, joyless, desperate. He gave me hope that with Him I can endure anything. He was waiting for me this whole time.
I am living proof that no one is beyond Gods reach. I am so hungry to get to know Him. I want you to have that hunger too. It will change your being. The love that I have for Him is so alive inside me that I know He is smiling down on me. My light has been turned on. Through darkness, ugliness, and sin, He found me, ME!
I found this quote somewhere and I can't remember where:
" Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "oh no, She's awake."
Author unknown
How many of you feel defeated, or are searching for that "something" to complete you?That "something" or someone is just waiting for you to invite Him in.
Some of my words are from some songs I heard on the radio today. I listen to air one. I have no idea what songs, I was driving and as lyrics spoke to me I just wrote them down. Just wanted to add the disclaimer in case someone wants to say I lyric lifted.
O.k. on a lighter note I have a finally finished a layout. I also have a really neat tutorial on paper flowers. They are different than the circle ones from a previous post. I really, really like these. So cool, and so easy. I will share the tutorial later.
Here is my lo, I hope it makes you smile. O.k. typepad will not let me add a picture at the moment so come back later. God is good, so, so good!!!